Damia Mokhtar

Damia Mokhtar in Wong Tai Sin

I have to admit something that makes me feel a little foolish whenever it crosses my mind which is how much I prefer dragging every minute out instead of letting the whole thing race toward whatever finish line everyone else seems to chase. You might catch yourself moving your hands in slow circles across my back while we slip into some made-up story where nothing urgent exists and the warmth from your palms builds so gradually that I end up forgetting to keep my usual chatter going. It probably sounds like an excuse for being awkward or maybe even a little boring but the truth is I notice how often men end up staying longer than they planned once they realize there is no rush to reach the next part and your fingers can trace the same line across my waist a dozen times before either of us decides to change anything. I catch myself apologizing in my head for the way the minutes stretch while you keep working at that unhurried pace and I wonder if you think I am being difficult on purpose when really it is just the only way I know how to make the evening feel like it actually happened to both of us instead of just passing through. The quiet stretches between words turn into something you fill with another careful stroke that lingers exactly where it started and I find myself relaxing into it even though part of me keeps thinking I should be doing more to keep things moving along.

The way your laugh slips out when the silence gets too long is what I end up turning over in my head days later.

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